Tuesday, February 2, 2010

'Cult Culture' clash with 'Pub Culture'

India, as known to all has been a land of rich cultural heritage. We have countless religions, communities, languages, dialects, customs, festivals, Gods & Saints - all bundled in the 3.2 odd million sq. kms and spread across in 30+ States and UTs. Largely peaceful, but occasional differences leading to violence has also been the highlight of this diversity. Yet, it is a country that can be a guide to others on how to gel well with diverse customs.

But somehow of-late, 'attack on culture' bug has caught up big time with most of them. There are now hordes of saffron brigade opposing everything that has been the boon or bane of globalization and ends up with DAY. DAY is synonymous with 'bright' but this very DAY and the petty fights and debate associated with it looks to take us towards 'dark'. Call it irony or misfortune, but it is the reality currently.

Whats the solution for this nuance? May be we must tread the middle path and walk the tightrope. Afterall, every group in India has got the right to oppose or propose. Let all Days which entered during the 'Opening of the economy Day' be in intact. But let the reason for celebrating it be different. Possibly we can reschedule Valentine's Day, Fathers' Day, Mothers' Day, Friendship Day for the time being, review the scenario, and then move ahead accordingly. Some of the proposed solutions from my side are as follows (could also be opposed as I mentioned before)

1. Valentine's Day - May it be celebrated on the Day when Lord Sri Ram broke the Shiv Dhanush to earn Sita Mata at Janak Maharaj's court. The catch here is Shiv Sena could take offence since Lord Sri Ram broke SHIV Dhanush and not an ordinary dhanush. That can be resolved. Lord Sri Ram's ardent followers, BJP, will woo them. With the current political scenario in Maharashtra, they can afford to only stay united. We may also have to slightly alter this to Lovers' Day since St. Valentine doesn't come into picture here.

2. Father's Day - Bhishma Pitamaha in the Mahabharata on knowing that Satyavati's father doesn't want to give her hand to Shantanu (Bhishma's father) because, Bhishma would steal the chance of her son ascending the throne, Bhishma takes the oath to renounce the throne and also pledges to promise life long celibacy. The day on which Bhishma took this oath and sacrificed power and pleasure for his day can be celebrated as Father's Day.

3. Mother's Day - Kaikayee utilized the long pending wish to demand from Dasharath and asked him to send Lord Sri Ram into exile for 14 years so that her son Bharath could ascend the throne. On knowing this, Lord Sri Ram readily accepts it without any wrath or ill-feelings towards his mother, leaves to the forest. This day of great regards and respect towards a mother who wished evil for her son can be marked as Mother's Day.

4. Friendship Day - Sudhama makes it to Dwaraka to meet his childhood friend Lord Krishna. He doesn't forget to take a pack of beaten rice along with him which was Lord Krishna's favourite during their childhood days. Appalled at Lord Krishna's glory, Sudhama holds the beaten rice back and is ashamed to offer it. However, Lord Krishna spots it and forces Sudhama to give it to Lord Krishna. Surprisingly, Lord Krishna doesn't show any signs of his well-being and accepts the beaten rice with joy and hugs Sudhama for getting his favourite thing. This day when 2 friends, though financially opposite to each other showed great character and displayed true friendship can be celebrated as Friendship Day. The day when the mighty Hanuman brought an entire mountain on not finding the Sanjeevani, to save the life of Lakshamana can also be celebrated as Friendship Day.

The depth of relationships displayed by the aforesaid characters indeed have a meaning. It can move even the stone-hearted. By doing so, we don't take away the freedom of those who have embraced the entrants of globalization and also keep the conservatives happy. Those like me, who know that the various meaningless Days are just some commercial ventures for Archies, Papyrus, Expressions et al can read some better news rather than see abuse of relationship a day after the Day or read about the attacks on greeting card stores.

Now what do we do for those who want to celebrate My Beautiful Neighbour's Day, My English Teacher's Day, My Kaamwaali Baai's Day and the likes?

Thursday, January 21, 2010

From 'Not Required Indians' to 'Now Required Indians' - NRIs bring opportunity galore.

Recently our PM Dr. Singh made a statement which might have brought joy and smiles on many a NRI faces. Some NRIs who normally have a lot to brag about the 'system' in India might take it as one more "So what?" The PM's optimism that the NRIs too will vote in (or from) 2014 elections, though did not become a talk of the town in India, did attract the attention of some ardent Indians settled abroad. The Indian diaspora is a very powerful lot. Be it in terms of intellect, power, wealth, bringing in changes etc. The statement of our PM which did not become a talk of the town is what I am focusing on this time.

The technicalities of their voting first of all needs to be worked out. Whether it is a postal vote or whether it is a e-voting (highly impossible for the next 50 years though) or will there be electoral booths will be set up where there are Indians residing. That too looks an uphill task. Amidst all these complications, I see an opportunity that has gone unnoticed.

Like MNCs have an India CEO or Head for South East Asia, political parties too will now have similar posts. There will be an USA CEO, UK CEO, UAE CEO etc. Like NASSCOM or ASSOCHAM, there will be NAPPY. NAPPY = 'National Asymmetry of Political Parties for You'.

If you thought only tecchies and Managers flew on foreign assignments abroad, you will be proved wrong soon. Local MLAs and MPs will be flying to Europe, America, Middle East as Project Managers. Grassroot level workers, ward Corporators will be herding abroad as 'Resource'.

The country's hiring spree will continue further it's upwardly trend. Now you will get calls or emails from job consultancies. 'Opening in a Political Organization. Present in 16 States. Now hiring for their new operations abroad'.

MBAs from IIMs and IFIMs of the nation will have an extended Industry to choose from the lot, the companies making it to their Institutes for placements. Summer Internship will be a smooth sailing since we have by-polls and ward-elections most times of the year. Budding Managers can gain hands on experience during these chhoTa-moTa elections.

There will be an upsurge for International Marketing courses. B Schools will no more highlight 'Free Laptops'. Instead it would be, "We conduct guest lectures from eminent industry people like Vajapayee, Advani, Mayavati, Buddhadeb, Tytler, Chidambaram".

In sync with IIIT, there would be specialized Institutes catering to studies and research in politics which will be incorporated in joint association by NAPPY and resepctive State Governments. IIMs would soon have sister concerns called IIPM - 'Indian Institute of Political Mis-management'.

This will also be a recession-proof industry since our netas are the most precious assets of the nation and elections are inevitable. No ups and down will be seen and all employees would have their jobs guaranteed.

So is the red-carpet for political parties ready at B Schools?? Are youngsters willing to take up jobs in the most 'dynamic' industry of the world???

Friday, January 8, 2010

DElight horror by Shobha DE

Nonagenarian and Former West Bengal CM Jyoti Basu is in a very critical condition in the Hospital. I personally do not have much hopes on his recovery. He is put on the ventilator for almost 2-3 days now and looks like the end is near.

But I was surprised 2 days back to see Shobha De tweeting that Jyoti Basu is no more. I logged into a couple of news websites but to my awe there was nothing mentioned about his death. His condition was still the same. I did take a screenshot of Shobha's Tweet. Have a look (Click the picture to enlarge it and read)


What a DElight horror from Shobha DE. Pathetic!

Friday, January 1, 2010

Nuisance filled New Year Celebration, sad and sadistic

It was New Year's eve and like millions of people, I too was overjoyed. The very idea of celebrating it on the most happening place of Bangalore i.e. Brigade Road had enthralled me all day. I had heard a lot about Hotel Imperial, which is famous for its Kabab and Ghee Rice and decided to make it to that place with a friend of mine, since it is economical compared to the lavish ones on that locality. Such hotels and eateries are always a respite for students and those in low earning jobs. We decided to jay-walk on Brigade Road upto M G Road and then come back and have dinner at the decided venue. This was at about 8PM and the street was jampacked with little space for air to wriggle. Me and my friend somehow managed to proceed further, me utterly cautious about my cellphone, wallet and my priced possession of 2009 - the digicam. The crowd which was mostly young was drunk, something not so unusual on Brigade Road, especially on a New Year's Eve. On our way towards M G Road was Rex Theater to our left and the poster of the much acclaimed '3 Idiots' grabbed my attention. In less than half a minute, me and my friend were at the ticket counter and soon we had 2 tickets for the movie. It was a 10:15PM show which meant we would be celebrating New Year inside a theatre. Very strange, last year I had celebrated it in Mangalore, riding from a New Year party at a residential locality to Mangalore Club. We moved upto M G Road and then came back to find TV 9 and Times Now news channel covering Brigade Road fun and frill LIVE. The scribe was interviewing few people and as the camera focused over the crowd, they went berserk, with arms stretched upto sky, jumping and dancing with joy.

So far so good. I was pleased to see the crowd and the enthusiasm they carried. Old and young, men and women, youngsters and kids - all were out on streets. Me and my friend made it to Hotel Imperial where we ordered the much talked about Chicken Kabab, Chilly Kabab for starters. It was indeed worth the hype. We concluded with Ghee Rice and started to Rex Theatre straightaway. It was about 9.30PM and things weren't anything different than what we saw an hour ago. I set the reminder to wish my friend Ganesh at 12 in the midnight, whose birthday falls on January 1st. We were now in the theatre, the seating of which did not please me in any way. Perhaps we are so accustomed to watch movies in the multiplexes that we forget this is where we started watching movies from. Behind us was a young couple, in the corner 2 seats of the last row. Ahhem...! The movie began and as Aamir Khan was shown for the first time on screen, the young crowd welcomed with a huge roar, something which goes to show the fame of Aamir Khan in Bollywood. The movie hadn't been through the first 15 minutes and I started getting a call from an unknown number, the code which confirmed it to be an ISD call. I did not receive but soon I got a call from the same number. Fortunes can come anytime, any-day, anywhere. Bearing this in mind, I decided to answer the call and moved out of the theater. To my surprise, it was an elderly gentleman from Kazakhstan, with whom I had developed friendship through a debate forum. I couldn't speak much though, the anxiety of making it back to the theater and also the surprise call from him had caught upon me big time. I then made it back to the theater and continued with the movie. The curiosity of turning back to watch those couple was playing with me, somehow I resisted myself :-)


By 1:15PM the movie was over. I had sent an SMS to my friend wishing him for New Year and his Birthday. It's economical if your friends celebrate their anniversaries on New Year Day, Independence Day, Diwali, Christmas et al. You can use only one call or SMS to wish them on both occasions. I called my friend up and wished him and exchanged a pleasantries as I came out of the theatre. Well... now starts the description of what I wanted to convey through this piece of write-up. Unruly mob welcomed us out of the theatre premises. People were coming upto us and wishing us Happy New Year by way of howling as if this was the last New Year on the planet. Some even contemplated hugging, showing you how much they love you this New Year though they might not even be your distant relatives or aliens. The 'spirit' of New Year had sunk in them and was clearly visible in their behaviour and attitude. Those with their family had a tough time in safeguarding their wives and daughters and other female members of the family. Needless to say that most of the unruly crowd was that of youngsters. Riding and driving was in a 'harrakirri'. Pillion riders managed to stand on the seat and those in the cars had thrown half their body into open air, causing inconvenience to other traffic lane and rules followers. There was a traffic block near Eva Mall and what I saw there was something which I never imagined. A girl who was in her mini-skirt with a guy on his bike became the point of 'contact' for many a ruthless drunkards. People went upto her (and many a girls like her) and deliberately made contact, some even going to the extent of touching thighs, chest and back. There were some who had gathered outside pubs and bars. Later my friend told me that they were waiting for the girls to come out of those places, so that they can establish 'contact' with those girls as well. I almost got hold of a 12-13 year old lad who established 'contact' with a girl's chest who was in an auto, looking for change in her purse or bargaining with the auto-driver for fare. I was fortunate enough not to hold that lad and create a scene, else, I myself would have had to face the brunt of his like-minded 'god(dammned)fathers'. The mob outnumbered the police who did resort to 'lathi-charge' but all in vain. When the police were closing down the shops at about 2AM, several people bought soft-drinks, cigarettes, gutkas, water and fled the place without paying, taking advantage of the hurrying police. Some malls and buildings had arranged for protective nets for their entire edifice to avoid damage by way of stone pelting which gives fun and joy to some animals of Bangalore. We both witnessed this by jay-walking on the footpaths for almost an hour after the movie. But that could have been fatal as drunk & drive was happening even on footpaths. 0.5 stars out of 5 for law & order, though the cops were ruthless on troublemakers.

I only hope from next New Year nowhere including Bangalore are such celebrations witnessed. Brigade Road and M G Road are indeed heaven and there is nothing that you don't get on these streets. But on New Year eve stay away from these places, especially if you are a lone man with the female members of your family or with your girl friend or female colleagues. Be in large groups, preferably in cars (chances of stone pelting are still bright). Avoid pubs and make it to some family restaurants where there is good music and some games. Sooner you are at home, better it is for you. You can have all fun along with safety. No one will come to your rescue as everyone is concerned with their own safety. Last night I realized that Bangalore has a long way to go before calling itself a dignified and sophisticated city and we are no better than the lawless people of certain underdeveloped states. Shame on the IT Capital of India.

Wishing all my friends and readers a Very Happy and a Prosperous New Year. Have a fantastic 2010 with your family. Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

N D Tiwari's THE END

N D Tiwari's alleged sex scandal in the Raj Bhavan with 3 ranis gave scope for some fun and frolic. I am sure humour columnists and cartoonists will have a lot to write and portray. Anyways... here is my contribution as well :-)

1. 3 Idiots of Rajkumar Hirani making news all over. I am more keen to watch 3 Idiots of N D Tiwari!

2. Who says Governors are only rubber-stamps and have got not POWER?

3.
Why did N D Tiwari resign citing 'health' issues? Because he did the 'unhealthy'

4. After his own version of '3 Idiots', N D Tiwari is contemplating a change in surname from Tiwari to TEENvari or TRIpaThi or TRIvedi or TRIvari.

5.
Which is N D Tiwari's favourite movie? TEEN Deviyaan.

6. What would N D Tiwari's favourite movie be if he had non-platonic relationship with 3 men? TRIdev.


7.
Andhra Pradesh's Raj Bhavan will be renamed to 'TEEN Moorthy Bhavan' commemorating NDT's CONTRIBUTION in the Raj Bhavan.

8. Citing 'Health reason' NDT resigns. Actually it is not 'Health reason' but 'Unhealthy relation'

9. What would you call NDT's resignation much ahead of his term completion? 'Premature ejection' (Ok. Now thats not original. It is the headline of Times of India website)

10.
NDT's adventure reminds me of a 'sher' - "Kaun kehta hai ki booDhe ishq nahin karte? Yeh toh humaaree naadaani hai ki hum un pe shak nahin karte". After NDT's episode 4 letter word ISHQ can be replaced by one more word with same number of letters.

11. Which is NDTs favourite Tea? '3 Roses'


12. What would have NDT told after his 'adventure'? "Just loved it!"? NO! "Just did it!"? NO! It's "Awesome threesome"
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Now my serious take on this.
There are many N D Tiwaris in the political arena. It is just that he is exposed, we single him out. Why only political arena?? Take the civilized society, students, professionals, industrialists etc etc. So many scams..., both sexuals and otherwise go unearthed. NDT is any day better than DGP Rathore!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Bang Bang B A N G A L O R E.... Bang Bang!

Had a good Sunday with one of my old friends who was my college-mate in Mangalore. We were supposed to make it for lunch and had decided to meet on Brigade Road. I reached opposite Eva Mall a bit early like I always do and my friend called me up saying he would be late by another 15-20 minutes like he has always been doing! I stood there gazing at passerbys and in less than a minute I had been the discussion topic to the rickshaw-wallahs and corn-wallahs. Not wanting to look too suspicious, I thought of exploring Brigade Road-MG Road more than I did so far.

I walked on Brigade Road (where you have KFC, McDies, Levis et al) and took a left to enter Church Street. I had been earlier there as it houses Oye Amritsar and Oye Shava where we had been a couple of times. But this time I was alone and observed some things closely which I hadn't observed earlier. One of the beggars had denominations of 50s and 100s with him. Some well-dressed girls were even taking 'chuTTa' from him! I was taken aback by the progress this 'profession' has made even during recession (or just post-recession) Looked like Bangaloreans have too much money. Soon I was proved wrong. Again some well-dressed people, this time some guys were bargaining with a book-vendor who was selling books on footpath. This vendor had everything - from Satanic Verses to the Verses of the Lord, 2 States to Imagining India. One side we have Landmark and Bookmark which is always crowded, on the other these street-vendors - both places are thronged by the same sophisticated people. Strange!

Then there were hotels - Punjabi, Chinese, Andhra and the most popular, 'Indian Cafe House' - darling of the 80s people of 'Namma BengaLuru'. This street also had a lot of pubs, in fact I felt there were more pubs than people. There was some kind of chaos as well. Contrary to the noise and dusty atmosphere, there was 'Parisara Bhavana' which houses Karnataka State Pollution CONTROL Board. Given the kind of chaos, CONTROL should be replaced by CAMPAIGNING as it best suited the atmosphere. I reached the dead end of Church Street and guess what I had NOT found - A Church. Or may be I hadn't explored enough to find one, quite possible.

Some more observations. Most cars were parked on the wrong side or at times even at inconvinient places or opposite to gates. Some also occupied half the footpaths, forcing pedestrians to opt the roads for walking. Speaks lowly of the rich and the affluent. Jay Walking already looks to be a norm on Brigade Road. You are an alien if you walk briskly. Oh yeah... even the 40 plus and 50 plus have become fashionable. They too were in the latest trendy clothes from UCB and Levis. Great transformation I must say. Why should Youth have all the fun?? Also, every guy had a girl with him and every girl had a guy with her. Now I know why guys don't fight over girls these days, everybody has one. Such fights were too common during my college days in Mangalore. Soon we might be blessed to see every boy having a boy by his arms and same with girls. We are just 90 odd years away from 22nd century. There were too many foreigners as well, a lot of chinkies too giving a neck-to-neck competition to our Indian babes.

But one unknonwn voice spoke loud & clear, it is a place for gala-time for the rich, wealthy, ameer baap ke garib beTe, if you succeed to hook on yourself to a welathy guy, those who are well employed in IT-BT sector. There is nothing much to count on for the not-so-privileged-people in terms of wealth. Anyways... thats always the case in India.

Oh... soon my cell rang and I was off with my friend to a Mangalorean's Hotel to have some Mangalore style fish curry. Had missed it for long time now. MOMMAAAAAAAAAAAAA.... Will be on the dining table soon!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Straight down the ground.... into the stands she goes!

It was a day after my 'Middle Stump debacle' (refer the previous post). A Sunday, which is a 'getuplate&donothing day' ever since I've joined IFIM Business School (OK. I do go shopping and mall-hopping at times) Somehow the 'blow' that I had got the previous evening was still hovering in my mind. I had made it an issue for myself, thinking about it (and of course thinking about 'it' as well) the whole night. For me it was an issue of more seriousness than the Hiroshima & Nagasaki blasts back in the 1940s.

Cricket match with our Faculty the previous day had charged me up again and from being 'as dead as a dodo', I was back to that mood which I used to carry during school and college days. But like it happens with most of them, corporate world asks had forced me to break ties with some friends, Cricket being the one that topped the chart (We blame every damn drawback on 'Corporate World' on one side and eulogize 1991 economic reforms. We want education like IITsque or IIMsque and work like 'SARKAARI DAFTARsque') Add to it the gift (lower back pain) I earned for myself by over-exercising during my 'exile-in-daylight' i.e. the 6 month gap between Wipro and IFIM, ensured that I restrict my Cricket adventure only upto Cricket commentary and nothing beyond that. But now that things had gone well and with battery charged (why does 'battery' remind me of the 'blow' I got the previous day while batting?), I thought I must join my friends on their usual Sunday routine of a Cricket match. So did I - my shelf-ridden track-shorts came out and so did my dust-driven sports shoes. Soon I was ready and up to face the challenge :-)

I snatched the bat and asked the juniors to bowl at me from short distance. It was fun to defend the ball or jab it back to them. Was doing it after a long time and wanted it do it for some more time. But then we got into the game straight-away. It was a Juniors v/s Seniors match of 10 overs each. We won the toss and elected to bat. It also meant that I would sit aside and watch the regular players bat, those who are known to hit big sixes and fours, in short - Big Guns of our batch. But things went differently that day, our good start punctured in between and with wickets falling like a 'bicycle in a bicycle stand at Rajendra Talkies in Patiala', it opened the doors or me to get in during the 7th over. Another wicket fell by then and by the end of 7th over, we were 49 with 2 wickets to go and Juniors with their tail up and wagging. The last 2 wickets seemed to be a mere formality but Anshul and me had different ideas. I told him to hit hard but along the ground, our predecessors had fallen by lofting in the air or with some reckless freeing of the hands. But playing in the slog overs, prevented me from following my own advice. I heaved one over mid-wicket for a six and a loft over mid-on for four in the 8th over. The 9th over saw one more big six from me, just clearing the ropes. The 3/4th part of the bat had enough meat in it to clear the man who had just been sent from mid-off to long-off after 2 lofted shots in the previous over. The tenth and the final over witnessed a blitzkrieg from me, close to 26 runs came in that over, 24 of them coming in the last 4 balls, courtesy to the 4 sixes, 3 over midwicket and 1 over long-off. From 49 in 7 overs, we had moved on to 100 in 10 overs. The last 3 overs saw 51 runs coming, me alone hitting 6 sixes and 1 four. I was a hero to my team-mates! We won that match, though, the juniors gave a good fight. They scored close to 85 in 10 overs. It was a good match for me. The last 4 sixes I smashed seemed to make the difference, since we had won by just 15 runs. I had also almost engineered a run-out, with a direct throw to the batting stumps from mid-off. The batsman was running like an Indian three-wheeler, but he had a narrow escape. It was a decision that could not be made through a naked-eye. Hence, the batsman got the benefit of the doubt.

We played one more match. This time I got a batting promotion. From a tail-ender in the 1st match, I had become a Rahul Dravid in this match. I was sent into bat at No. 3. I did well again, this time played cautiously. 3 sixes came, one of which made us hopeless of retrieving the ball. I fell this time after going for an ambitious pull, my favourite shot. I got a top edge to the wicket keeper, but had scored some 25 odd runs by then. We batted badly in this match. We were all out for 75, not playing full 10 overs. It was a chaseable score on our ground. But our bowling and catching in this match was exceptional. The Juniors were bowled out for a little under 40 in 7 odd overs. We had clean-swept the series 2-0. I was proud of myself and my performance. After a long time I had played and had a good 2-match as well. It proved as a refresher too, especially after what I had to go through the previous evening. There is always a correlation between doing great and feeling great (unless & untill you are a Ramalinga Raju)
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Started blogging for a reason which is secret plus as a pastime. But getting a lot of favourable responses to it. Thanks to all my friends for appreciating my write-ups, my cousins Shesh and Sand for uploading some of them in their websites. All this means a lot to me. Thank you once again :-)
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Saw Sachin Tendulkar take the catch in the last over and the run out he effected in the penultimate over. Wonderful to see his involvement with the game even when he is not in business. The catch if missed which otherwise would have gone for a four or a couple did impact the result majorly. Oh yeah...! Who says he must contemplate retirement. He just 36 years YOUNG!